So, today we went and got our first evaluation done. Evaluation, you ask? Yeah, in Pennsylvania, there’s all sorts of meaningless tiresome bullshit gestapo-like rules and regulations for us crazy homeschoolers. The evaluation is only one of them. I also have to submit a portfolio of attendance, a list of books read during the year, and samples of completed work. And even before you get to this point, you also have to file a notarized affadavit at the start of the school year, informing the district of your intent to homeschool, and your planned course of study for the year. (If you missed it the first time, and want to read about Affadavit Filing Day, click here.)
All these requirements sounds like a lot, and can be a hassle, but mostly I’m finding it’s not such a big deal. One thing I’ve realized after going through this whole process is that getting the evaluation done wasn’t the hard part of getting the evaulation done. No. The hard part was actually Finding An Evaluator Who Didn’t Make Me Want To Rip My Own Eyelids Off. That was the hard part.
You see, the number one person that all the local homeschool groups I belong to recommended EVERY TIME people asked: hey, does anyone know of a good evaluator? was this one particular woman who was so FREAKISHLY FUNDAMENTALIST that I just couldn’t imagine sitting down with her and discussing my child’s educational progress. Because, you see, we DON’T start our day with Bible readings here. We just don’t do that. It’s just not how it works here at my house. I’m not an atheist, but I’m not a Fundamentalist either. And I certainly didn’t get into this whole homeschooling gig because I believed that my kids needed a good solid foundation in Biblical Bullshit. And when I say that this woman was FREAKISHLY FUNDAMENTALIST, I mean that she was seriously FREAKISHLY FUNDAMENTALIST.
For example, when someone posted in to the message boards a question like How do you keep track of attendance, this woman responded with a post that stated that she kept track of attendance by reading a chapter out of Psalms and Proverbs every day during the school year. Because taken together, the chapters of both books equals 181, and 180 is the required number of days to attend school. THERE IS NO COINCIDENCE! she assured us. She then went on to describe the ideal portfolio, and the first subject listed in her ideal portfolio was (of course!) BIBLE study. She rambled on for a while longer and then ended her post with a substantial quote from the Book of Deuteronomy. And, reading that, I was all: Yeah. NOT for us, hon. Not in a million FREEKIN’ years.
And, on a side note, I’d just like to state that it’s really not all that hard to keep track of attendance, provided that you a) own a calendar and a pencil or pen or other writing instrument, b) know how to use said calendar, pencil, pen or writing instrument, and c) can count to 180. If you can answer yes to those three items, then all you gotta do is look at the calendar, note the date, and put a little check mark on the appropriate box in the calendar. Do that each day you and your kids sit down and do school in whatever shape doing school takes for you at your place. When you get to 180 days, you can stop and call it a year. This does not seem hard to me. Yet, at least once a month around here, someone posts in: hey, what’s the best way of keeping track of attendance? And again, I find my fingers desperately twitching and I have to turn off the Internet, and sit on my hands for ten minutes to protect my eyelids.
As for the whole Psalms and Proverbs coincidence? Yeah. Well, I’m no theologian, but I do know that there are tons of fascinating theories regarding the endless numerical codes and patterns scattered through out all the books of the Bible. But I really honestly would like to believe that if there is any numerological significance to the number 181 with regards to the total number of chapters in Psalms and Proverbs, that it’s something more earth-shatteringly significant than God realizing that a bunch of crazy people in eastern Pennsylvania would lose the ability to reason out a simple way to get from 1 to 180 when counting up the number of days their kids learned something. I’d like to think he wasn’t forced to WASTE that highly significant 181 on something like THAT!!!
But, I digress.
So, all year long, all I knew for sure was who I DIDN’T want evaluating us. Which is a long stretch from finding someone who I did want as an evaluator. It seemed that everyone I knew either used the Fundy, or were enrolled in a cyber charter and didn’t have to have an evaluation. Finally, I came across someone who was using a different evaluator, and having gotten a good recommendation, proceeded to email this woman and ask about her being our evaluator. She responded with some hemming and hawing about whether or not my district would accept her as a certified evaulator. I checked all the statutes and emailed her again, asssuring her that it didn’t seem like it would be a problem. And she simply never wrote back.
Almost a month went by, and I gave up on her and started looking around on the Internet, and finally I chose someone blindly because she seemed to have a professional air about her. She had a nice website that made no Biblical references at all, had no dancing cherubs or irritating blinking text, and wrote on her website about how committed she was to being An Advocate For Homeschooling. Sounded good. I emailed her and within a week, I had an appointment all set. I assembled a quick draft portfolio of what I planned on giving the district, piled the kids in the car and drove on down to her place this morning.
We sat in a little playroom with enough toys to keep my 6-year-old happy and she looked through my materials, complimented my 8-year-old on all her hard work, mentioned that my district tended to be one of the easier ones to work with, and in the end, called everything satisfactory, printed off a letter in duplicate for me to give the district and never once made any religious references whatsoever. After we were done, she offered to show the girls her baby chickens which the girls were more than happy to see. Then she brought out her white dove and let us hold the bird on our hands. Then she took us out to the backyard to see the koi pond and chicken coops. We left not long afterwards, with a dozen of the freshest eggs you could ever hope to have, and what started out as an annual chore had become a wonderful, relaxing field trip.
And now I’ve got a name up my sleeve for the next time someone posts in hey, anyone know of a good evaluator?
And life is good.
Wow. You turned off the Internet? I have been trying to do that for years.
= )
Seriously, sounds like a great evaluation; glad you found someone supportive of homeschooling and that it’s someone you’ll actually be happy to see from time to time.
RegularSis
I can’t get beyond the Proverbs and 180 verses. I just can’t. I’m laughing too hard. Good thing when God inspired Proverbs he KNEW that in the U.S. there would be 180 days mandatory attendance. I’m just really glad he didn’t pick Leviticus because I like Proverbs BETTER. Leviticus would possibly put me to sleep and then I’d have to start counting again, and I”d loose track and OY. Can you imagine?? Thank heavens we don’t have to cough up much for attendance here. I homeschool year ’round and call it 180 or so. Can you imagine a school teacher saying those things in a classroom setting though? She’d be fired on the spot…and as for message boards that ask the obvious. Please. Don’t get me started. Trying not to reply in a sarcastic “d’uh” tone makes me rock. As in back in forth in a corner….
I am SO glad you found a good evaluator in the end! What a great feeling! Gee. I’ve written a book, here.
Great to see your post!
“As for the whole Psalms and Proverbs coincidence? Yeah. Well, I’m no theologian, but I do know that there are tons of fascinating theories regarding the endless numerical codes and patterns scattered through out all the books of the Bible. But I really honestly would like to believe that if there is any numerological significance to the number 181 with regards to the total number of chapters in Psalms and Proverbs, that it’s something more earth-shatteringly significant than God realizing that a bunch of crazy people in eastern Pennsylvania would lose the ability to reason out a simple way to get from 1 to 180 when counting up the number of days their kids learned something. I’d like to think he wasn’t forced to WASTE that highly significant 181 on something like THAT!!!”
Thought that whole paragraph should be repeated.
::snork::
I’m laughing and my hubby has gone into another rant about stupid people.
A few years ago Rick asked if I thought we should move to eastern Pennsylvania and I said no, mostly because I was pretty sure the homeschool scene would turn out to be too bizarre for me to deal with. All the hoops you have to jump through, and the people with whom you jump through them — yikes!
I admire your ability to turn off the internet and walk away. I’m not even involved in the situation and I have a twitchy need to find this woman and ask why God ordained 181 chapters when they only needed 180 — he couldn’t add? He figured they couldn’t add? What’s the deal with that?
Gail – I wondered the same thing. Like, maybe God needs a good calculator? Or is he figuring in a snow day? *snort*
Anyway, thanks everyone, for giggling like maniacs with me.
This had me laughing hysterically!
Glad you got through the evaluation with your sanity intact. And also glad we moved from Texas to Arizona, where I don’t have to deal with all that!
Please move to Texas!
First of all, you wouldn’t have to deal with any of that silliness. Well there are a lot of Fundies out here, but at least they aren’t in charge of anything but their crazy selves.
Plus, I could sit and laugh with you all. day. long. That was just hilarious!
I’m glad the evaluation went good.
Don’t you just love cute furry little chicks?
I wonder what it would take to become an evaluator? Do y’all have to do any standardized tests way up where you are?
So lovely when a chore becomes a pleasure! Time to rest in the garden, eh? : ) ~K
Hey, I split my face in half! oops. : )
Oh for the love of it all. Proverbs? Ummmkay then.
Glad you found an evaluator vs. a prayer partner.
LOL you guys! What would I do without you all?
K, to be an evaluator, you have to be a certified teacher, or a clinical psychologist, or a private (degreed) teacher who has taught in the public schools in the last ten years.
Ah, Pennsylvania.
I had a heck of a time finding an evaluator too, here in Iowa. You’d think in a state that requires evaluation, those people capable and willing to be an evaluator would have some kind of list or something available when people file their afadavit thingy at the beginning of the year. It’s a win/win, you find someone that fits your family, and they find someone to give them money.
The only list of this sort I could find when I was looking for an evaluator was on the website for the Network of Iowa Christian Home Educators. Not really what I was looking for, and experience showed me that “Christian Home Educators” and their crew have a hard time understanding what “secular” means. They SAY they can do secular, but can’t stop themselves from sending you mailings with bible verses on the envelopes, or suggesting Abeka during every curriculum discussion.
Glad you found someone you can work with, and it sounds like she’s wonderful. Isn’t that a great feeling? Considering the circumstances, it’s kinda like winning the lottery.
Well, all I can say is that I would have failed on all counts. I don’t do the bible (although the kids have a childrens one that they occasionally read coz they “choose” to. And then there is the fact that I have gone from completely classical homeschooling to natural learning. We still do “school work” but we do what suits the kids. Having my children at home full time for the past 3 years has taught me so much more than them. They learn all the time, even when I don’t push it and I don’t like what “those that say” think we should do! Yeah, I am kind of dreading our next “inspection” down here! But I’m sure I will wing it as usual.
Glad you found someone you like and for the record, you would have absolutely no problems down here! It would be all too easy!
We have 1 evaluator here. Thank God she is normal! She chooses to home school for non religious reasons. Her kids half school like my boys so she understands!
Most of the families that choose to HS here are religious types. I feel for her when it’s time to evaluate some of these people…
I needed a lugh today! Thank you.
BTW, could you email me a link to Fundie Evaluator? I could use a few more laughs.
“Keep track of attendance?” Oh, brother.
Wow, just think of geometry. If you read all 180 versus of psalms you have officially made it half way around a circle. Makes just as much sense right? You are a very funny lady.
Ooooh, that has to have significance. Like, wouldn’t that count as an entire year of Geometry, somehow?
And hey, thanks for reading, and for laughing.