Today, they would have been ten.

Today marks the tenth anniversary of the premature birth and subsequent death of my first two children, identical twin boys.

And, I’m okay.

This is the first year that I didn’t BROOD over them for a month or so before this date. I saw the calendar turn to August, glanced at the number 14, and I was okay. And each day that passed, I realized that I was okay. I made plans to have friends come over, and the only date they could come was the 14th, and I marked it down on the calendar without a problem. The girls swam with their friends all afternoon, and I made pleasant conversation with the other mom, and it was all okay.

I miss them a lot. But it’s okay.

For those of you who don’t know the whole story, and want to know it, here it is in three parts: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. But be warned before you click. It’s a sad story, and it doesn’t end all that great.

For those of you who already know this one, just wanted to check in and tell you:

I’m okay.

13 Responses to “Today, they would have been ten.”

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1 ami August 14, 2008 at 9:25 pm

{{Hugs}}

2 RegularMom August 14, 2008 at 9:39 pm

thanks.

3 Not June Cleaver August 14, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Wow! Thanks for sharing your story again.

4 kitten (Katie) August 15, 2008 at 7:49 am

I’m glad to know you are okay! I’m sending {{{DOUBLE HUGS}}}

5 Rachel August 15, 2008 at 9:17 am

I just read your story and I am crying. Big hugs to you.

6 rae August 15, 2008 at 9:24 am

Wishing I could find something eloquent to say, because my heart is so full for you right now. You have an amazing spirit, and I’m so happy that you have found some measure of peace. {{{big hugs}}}

7 Mommylion August 15, 2008 at 10:14 am

Sending hugs RegularMom. Thank you for sharing the story of your boys.

8 RegularMom August 15, 2008 at 1:55 pm

Thanks everyone.

9 Sara August 15, 2008 at 6:28 pm

I’m glad you’re feeling OK, but I’m sending you my best wishes anyway. Hugs.

10 Mom #1 August 17, 2008 at 10:07 pm

I read all three posts. Gosh, what an ordeal. I’m so sorry about the babies, and I’m glad you came though it alive yourself. It’s a miracle that you can talk (read: blog) about it at all. I’m glad that today you’re okay.

((((((REGULARMOM))))))

11 RegularMom August 18, 2008 at 5:02 pm

Many thanks to you all.

12 SabrinaT August 18, 2008 at 6:12 pm

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

13 Nicholina September 2, 2008 at 5:28 pm

I just found your blog through ami’s and I clicked back to read your story. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I miscarried a baby at 12 weeks and it was so devastating. What happened with your boys, though…it’s awful. Thank you for sharing your story. Here’s to putting one foot in front of the other and letting time do it’s thing. I’m glad to hear you’re doing okay.