One of my friends is dead. « Like I Have Time For This?

I just found out that one of my friends from my old writing critique group died two days ago. I still participate in that group via email and telephone. We’re pretty close. Have been for years. But John was one to come and go. He was a good writer, a grandfather, a man who beat back many obstacles in his physical limitations and wrote about it. Wrote well about it, too.

He’d been a serious nicotine addict for years. He’d smoked heavily for 30 years, then got off cigarettes by starting with chewing tobacco, then got off that by switching to the patch, then got off that by overeating himself into serious obesity. When I first met him, he was 100 pounds overweight and connected to an oxygen tank that his doctors promised he’d never be rid of. Ever.

Well, he got himself on some serious healthy foods, lost all the weight, and got off the oxygen, and his doctors basically told him he was a medical miracle. He was working on a memoir about his experiences. When I finally managed to quit smoking, he was someone who helped me out a lot in those first few weeks.

And now, he’s gone. And I don’t have any details yet. And I’m 2,000 miles away from where the funeral will be held. And dammit, it just doesn’t feel RIGHT at all that I won’t be there.

I was going to come in here and tell you all some really funny story about how I started this blog, because today is the anniversary of my first blog post, but I read my email first and found out that my friend is dead.

And I just can’t think of anything funny anymore.

I’m gonna go call RegularDad and have myself a good old cry.

14 Responses to “One of my friends is dead.”

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1 Bonni February 20, 2008 at 4:41 pm

Well, that just sucks. I’m so sorry that your friend has died and that you’re so far away from where he was.
2 Mommylion February 20, 2008 at 4:41 pm

Oh no. How horrible. I am so sorry.
3 katherine February 20, 2008 at 5:00 pm

hugs and hugs and hugs. big sigh. long understanding quiet pause……

sitting quietly with you here in cyberspace. i’m sorry R-mom.
4 Shawna February 20, 2008 at 5:35 pm

I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. Sending lots of hugs your way today…
5 Sara February 20, 2008 at 6:46 pm

I’m so sorry. I’m sending lots of good thoughts your way.
6 RegularMom February 20, 2008 at 8:21 pm

Thanks everyone.
7 robinellablog February 20, 2008 at 9:09 pm

It sounds like he lived a full life. It’s sad you won’t be there for the final goodbye, though.
8 Maria February 20, 2008 at 10:10 pm

I’m so sorry. Death is really horrific. The death of someone beautiful is worse. And we’re all beautiful. So very sorry. That sounds trite, but my heart goes out to you.
9 Debbie February 20, 2008 at 10:21 pm

I’m very sorry to hear that, I’m wish you the best.
10 Ami February 20, 2008 at 11:35 pm

I’m awfully sorry to hear you’ve lost a friend. I hate how losing someone leaves a hole in your life, no matter how far away they are when it happens, no matter how long it’s been since you saw them.

{{{hugs}}}
11 Not June Cleaver February 21, 2008 at 12:28 am

I’m so sorry about your friend.
12 RegularMom February 21, 2008 at 1:37 am

Thanks again to all of you. I’ve been out taking pictures of the eclipse. It was freezing, but worth it. The moon is so quietly beautiful. It reminds me of my friend. How serendipitous, yes?
13 Fourmother February 21, 2008 at 2:38 am

(((Regularmom))) I don’t know what to say. My thoughts are with you.
14 Kim February 21, 2008 at 8:09 pm

I am so sorry. I had something similar happen, and its a cold lonely place to be.