I show you this picture with a nod to Weaver, especially, who commented on my previous post that this is how her husband would install the dishwasher, and that he would think nothing was wrong with it whatsoever. Ah, Weaver, our husbands are kindred spirits, aren’t they? Or maybe they’re identical twins separated at birth. We could be in-laws, Weaver. Think of it. And then run. As far and as fast as you can. To the hills and beyond. Just run.
Now before you all start shouting at me to be kind to RegularDad, let me assure you that I know with every fiber of being that he’s been working diligently and nonstop to get this thing working. I do, after all, live here, and I’m an ongoing witness to this unholy nightmare we call Installing A Dishwasher In This Kitchen That Simply Will Not Cooperate.
So, yes, I know with all my heart and soul that RegularDad is not to blame for our current dishwasher situation. I also know, deep in the furthest reaches of my soul, that I’ll be doing dishes by hand tonight. Dammit.
The reason the hose is sticking out the wrong way and thus has been snaked up and duct taped to the sink is because RegularDad ran out of the right kind of pipe to finish it all off properly, and then he had to work half the weekend so he hasn’t gotten a chance to get back to Lowe’s for more piping.
But that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is that the dishwasher itself is faulty and will have to be returned. Right after RegularDad rigged it up and turned on the power to test it, we heard this alarming POP! from somewhere inside the machine. The kind of POP! that sounds electrical. And smells like lemon.
This machine just won’t finish a wash cycle. Fifteen to twenty minutes into the wash, it shuts down and starts flashing the letters “PF” on the display panel. “PF” stands for POWER FAILURE. Urgh. We researched it online and discovered that this particular make and model of dishwasher is prone to this glitch. And hence, the dishwasher will be returning to the store on Wednesday and we will never be purchasing anything from Best Buy Online again. Ever.
We’ve been testing different wash cycles to see if just the Normal cycle is messed up. And once — just once — we got the thing to do a complete wash while using the “Pots and Pans” cycle. But then, that cycle never worked again. Now, no matter what we try, the thing powers down after 15 minutes or so.
And during that one complete wash cycle, the thing still wasn’t working completely right. I went in to check how much time was left on the cycle only to discover that the display panel was flashing the letters “HO” over and over again.
“What’s it say?” RegularDad called to me from the living room.
“It’s flashing the letters ‘HO’. What’s that mean?” I said.
“Hmmm…not sure. And the only way to check is to open the door and look on the inside at the cheat sheet. And I’m not openin’ it. It’s runnin’.”
I stared at the panel for a few seconds, watching the message flash at me again and again: HO…HO…HO…HO….
And then it hit me.
“The dishwasher is calling me a ho,” I said. (Either that, or it’s channeling Santa. Badly.)
Talk about adding insult to injury. I wonder if Sarah Connor ever had problems like this. It’s probably one of the scenes they cut from Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Oh well, maybe the cheesy new TV series will add it back in.
Well, off to those dishes now. They certainly ain’t gonna wash themselves.
RM,
1) you are my wife’s absolute favorite blogger.
2) I too (as the “regulardad” of the family) installed our dishwasher in our new home about a year ago. When my beloved wife opened the old one (yes, at least we had an old one) after running through an entire cycle and discovering a live bug, it was IMMEDIATELY determined by all relevant parties (and by than I mean my beloved wife) that we must purchase a new dishwasher capable of both 1) keeping bugs out; and 2) killing any bugs that might penetrate #1. Hence, we journeyed to the local Home Depot and purchased a stunning stainless steel; hidden control-panel LG dishwasher. It’s the quietest darned thing you never heard. We run it during dinner parties and no one knows. The only downside is that it’s thoroughness takes time. One cycle takes 2 hours. But at least it’s two quiet, thorough hours.
Have fun!
Chris,
Many thanks for the advice, and I’d just like to say YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. Bugs in the dishwasher = TIME FOR NEW DISHWASHER in anyone’s book.
Briefly, before we decided it would be fun to uproot the family and move east into the everlasting nightmare of Doing Dishes By Hand, I actually had an LG dishwasher in my nice, big, modern, beautiful kitchen way back in Colorado. I loved my LG dishwasher. In fact, I love your LG dishwasher. I wish I had your LG dishwasher in my house RIGHT NOW. I may tell RegularDad that I want an LG dishwasher and nothing else will do.
And many thanks for the compliment, btw. You guys are the best. Thanks for reading. And happy dishwashing.
– RM
I’m thinking that maybe they are just close cousins because quite frankly, your husband at least attempted to put the dishwasher part way into the space it should be in. My husband would have totally left it in the middle of the room and when I complained, he would have tossed a piece of wood on top “so it’s a table!” with all happiness and smiles from him
good luck with the new model!!!
LOL I kind of glad not to have a dishwasher now. LOL Sounds like too much hassle!
HO on our dishwasher means it’s heating the water.
Now I’ll be insulted whenever I see it, though.
I love my LG (clothes) washer. I want everything LG forever and ever if it’s all as good as the washer.
Our Frigidaire dishwasher (installed by The Husband with only minor bloodshed and cussing) is quite nice, cleans well, reasonably quiet, has a quick cycle that is good when I’ve been slacking, eh, I mean to say, BUSY…
Anyway. I hope your days of handwashing are over really soon.
So sorry to hear about all the dishwasher troubles…. In my book, there’s nothing worse than doing dishes by hand. Ugh.
But what grabbed me the most from this post was the reference to the cheesy new Terminator tv series. A little birdie who actually watched that show last night told me (still with me here?) that it was mildly entertaining and said birdie can’t wait to watch part two tonight…. But the birdie could have a screw loose or two maybe?
Anyway, I have faith that RegularDad will get the new dishwasher installed and working in a jiffy. After all, if mom is happy everybody’s happy.
Thanks, everyone. And Shawna…tweet-tweet!
I called you around Christmas…did you get my message? I’ll try again soon. chirp-chirp. 
Aww, bummer about the DW. I hate washing dishes. Godspeed, new DW, godspeed.
My favorite part of this post is that you’re swearing off BestBuy, which is one of my least favorite stores.
My favorite thing about my new dishwasher (which is lame, but looks like a super duper stainless one - don’t get the Whirlpool Gold Quiet Partner III)is that it doesn’t ever flash HO, which is probably the only thing I like about it.
Hang in there and keep us all posted!
RegSis
This dishwasher saga is making me laugh. We currently have to “wash” the dishes by hand, but in our case it is a sort of punishment to the kids. You see, twice our dishwasher stopped working as the kids had been putting the dishes in complete with food, and no matter what the salesmen says about that being okay. IT IS NOT. The pipes get clogged and the repairman does not cover that with warranty. Anyway we bought a new dishwasher only to have it happen again. So refused to get it repaired. Its been quite a while now and the kids have actually stopped whinging. Perhaps we will get it fixed. LOL. As for the first dishwasher, it is happily working away as if nothing ever happened, in my mums kitchen. (no kids over there!)