When I lived in Colorado, I used to hang out with a lot of poets and writers. In fact, every Monday evening, I’d attend a critique session with about a half dozen other writers. We’d drink coffee and critique each other and shoot the breeze a bit. Talk about the writing life, ya know?
And when I told them I had to move to Pennsylvania, the first thing they said was: Okay, but you’re still gonna call in on Mondays, right? You can just teleconference in, right? So, every Monday night, I call in and they put me on speaker phone, and I still talk with these writers I’ve known for years, and it’s been a terrific sanity-saver for me these past months, staving off the homesickness and all that.
One of them has a daughter who’s a sophomore in high school this year, and I’ve spent the past three months diplomatically Not-Saying-Anything every time I hear what’s happening with this woman’s daughter (who I’ve known since she was 6 years old) at the local public high school. They all know I homeschool, but they’re not exactly supportive of it. In their mind, I’m crazy because I’m keeping the kids at home instead of sending them off to school and affording myself hours and hours of free time in which I could be penning The Great American Novel.
Yeah. Whatever.
So, I never mention homeschooling, except for the rare occasions when I slip up and complain that I couldn’t find any time to write that week. Then they’re quite quick to say: Have you considered just putting them in school? At all? Are you EVER going to put them in school? EVER? That’s when I have to draw the line as gently but as clearly as possible: This Is Not Open For Discussion. That’s the only time I discuss homeschooling with them: to tell them, in effect, to BACK THE HELL OFF.
Meanwhile, this woman with the sophomore in high school has recently put her daughter on anti-depressants which were recommended by various school officials and psychologists to help the girl deal with the social pressures that are closing in all around her. Apparently, the final straw that led to the prescription medication was constant harrassment because the girl likes to eat vegetables during lunch instead of the more standard socially acceptable fare of french fries and devil dogs washed down with a 32-oz Pepsi.
And when the woman told the group this, everyone murmured their agreement, that anti-depressants surely must be the answer. After all, it’s what the school recommended. Right? And little old me listening in via speakerphone felt grateful for the first time that I wasn’t sitting there in the room with them. Because they would have been able to see me BEATING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AND BITING MY LIP TILL IT BLED with the effort required to keep myself from screaming:
AND THAT SOUNDS REASONABLE TO YOU???? YOUR DAUGHTER IS TAKING MEDICATION JUST TO BE ABLE TO SIT WITH HER PEERS AT A LUNCH TABLE AND EAT CARROTS! AND YOU’RE OKAY WITH THAT????
I just got off the phone with the group tonight, and I got the latest installment about the Sophomore In High School, and believe it or not, the anti-depressants just aren’t helping. In fact, the social situation is even worse. There was a boyfriend but that’s apparently ended, and now for some unknown reason all her friends have become her bitter enemies and are ganging up on her. The girl is now taking different strategic routes all over the building to get to her classes because she’s afraid of running into the group of girls who have gotten into the habit of laying in wait for her just to continue the harrassment. My friend’s daughter lives each school day in fear now, and has desperately asked her mother to transfer her to another school. Or to be homeschooled.
Yep. That’s right. The kid wants to be homeschooled. I SWEAR I had nothing to do with it.
My friend is actually considering a part-time homeschool gig for her daughter now. Because it’s gotten THAT bad. This, from a woman who has quietly made it clear that she thinks I’m ruining my career as a writer by being a homeschooler.
Somebody…cue the Hallelujah Chorus.
Oh wait. I’ll just do it myself. Again:
Can’t say anything you haven’t already said to yourself a million times… but am sending a link to your post to my daughter, she thinks high school might be ‘fun’.
My baby brother is 16 and in the public school, just like I was, because my parents are both public school teachers. It took 10 years but my mom is finally at the point where she looks at my three–who have the same learning and social anomalies that made school hell for my brother and I both (although my other brother had a fine old time because he was not a social misfit–although now all that stuff is coming out big time) and comments that she “would” homeschool him if it weren’t for my dad being against it–they are divorced and there is bitter rivalry between them. My dad admits that my kids are doing fine–but they should since I have a teacher education. My mom MAKES my brother attend dances so he has some time to “socialize” because they don’t have time in school anymore.
That is just SO sad.
Sigh.
That’s the thing. It’s just sad.
I wish Daniel’s family would read this and get off my back. They still want my middle one to go and play football. AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!
We were watching the news the other night and a girl got suspended for huging another girl who was upset because she had just lost a parent. Josh looked at me and siad it’s a good thing KB don’t go to school they would kick her out also and then you really would have to home school. But this way you don’t have to blow your top and say all “THEM” words! LOL!
Since yall are friends still just let her know you are there for support or what ever.
My middle school experience was just like this girl’s high school experience. It was a nightmare from hell. Every second of it. Boys just beat each other up, but girls are much more vicious. Of course, I told my parents what was going on, but what were they to do? My mother rung her hands (a little), my father made jokes, then everyone resumed their normal activities. After all psychological torture is a normal part of the school day, is it not? I just stopped talking to them about it and endured as well as I could for 3 long years. Well at least I can be thankful that mom and dad didn’t try to treat my bullying problem by putting ME on medication. (Unbelievable!)
Thank goodness your friend is finally seeing the light.
I share your feelings exactly. I graduated both my boys from homeschool high school last year and now I just want to tell everyone, Homeschooling high school works! Both my guys got full-tuition scholarships at Seattle Pacific University. I also blog and have a free monthly newsletter that I think you would enjoy. Check out my site http://www.TheHomeScholar.com and you can find everything there. I will continue to check in to see how it goes. Hang in there!!!
Lee