Read online at the Wall Street Journal today: Fashion Bullies Attack — In Middle School.
The article discusses, at some length, the intensifying of bullying among girls at schools around the country for not having the “right” clothing. The right brands. The right fabrics. The right shoes. The right hairstyle and makeup. The right purse. The right everything.
Here’s a quote:
Teen and adolescent girls have long used fashion as a social weapon. In 1944, Eleanor Estes wrote “The Hundred Dresses,” a book about a Polish girl who is made fun of for wearing the same shabby dress to school each day. The film “Mean Girls” in 2004 focused on fashion-conscious cliques among high-school teens. But today, guidance counselors and psychologists say, fashion bullying is reaching a new level of intensity as more designers launch collections targeted at kids.
And:
In one study, more than one-third of middle-school students responded “yes” when asked whether they are bullied because of the clothes they wear. Susan M. Swearer, associate professor of school psychology at the University of Nebraska in Lincoln, surveyed a total of more than 1,000 students at five Midwestern middle schools from 1999 to 2004, with about 56% of the sample female. While the prevalence of fashion bullies was greater in wealthy cities and towns, where more designer clothing is available, she found the problem is significant in poorer communities, too.
I went to middle and high school in a wealthy town. And the girls dressed accordingly. Those of us who didn’t dress accordingly paid the appropriate social price. This was (and still is) considered normal adolescent behavior.
I guess the new twist the article is reaching for is to lay the blame at the door of fashion designers and clothing manufacturers. But is that really new news? I don’t think so. I think that’s been going on for decades, ever since designer jeans and leg warmers hit the scene. And probably before that as well. It’s just one of the many ways to encourage more unnecessary spending on crap we don’t really NEED. Although, if you’re in public school, you kinda DO need this stuff, don’t you?
In the end, it’s just one more reason to homeschool. We will hopefully miss a great portion of that particular childhood competition. Oh, I’m sure we’ll have some battles over clothing, but hopefully, not quite as extreme as it would be if the girls were headed off to a place where their emotional well-being is completely dependent upon what the tag that’s scratching the back of their neck says.
Because, really, who has time for THAT?
I would say it started long before that–fashion has always been an issue for girls, especially when they get together in groups. Every era has it’s examples. The very nature of young girls–trying to look ones best and comparing with others combined with fashion trends brings it out full swing when in groups. I think the marketing geared to younger and younger girls is certainly having its affect, but likely only because before that younger girls were expected to dress younger (although the trends before the late 1800’s to dress children like little adults certainly would have provoked similar issues were the children gathered together in groups.) I know the turn of the century books I have read, and earlier all mention issues with fashion and books about young girls usually mention trouble regarding fashion, as much as strength and sports related bullying among boys.
And yes, I agree that homeschooling removes it at least to an older age, and homeschooled girls usually have their own taste and attitudes towards clothing established before the attacks can begin. I know my 9 year old–who has a very deliberate sense of style and is not the least affected by what others think is “cool” was shocked to hear girls in her Sunday school class teasing another girl about her wardrobe. She could not understand what their problem was and stood up for the girl but also didn’t give in to any teasing from them–she pointed out that she just plain didn’t care what they thought of her clothes.
Funny. I have arguments about clothing, but it’s usually me saying, “Your pants are above your ankle - how do you LIVE like that?” and “Push down your socks with your capris so you don’t look like a dork.” (Um.. I guess that might sound a bit harsh to some, but playful namecalling like “dork” and “jerk” is pretty common in my redneck home.) My kids have no sense of what’s in style and what isn’t, nor do they care. That might change as they get older. I don’t know.
Great post. From what I’ve seen of the older teens in our homeschool group, on down through the younger crowd I’m closer to, homeschool really does shut most of this behavior down. What was the quote in Little Big Man? “My heart soars like an eagle.”
I do love that clothes, hair, etc. are not a huge issue when you homeschool. I remember lots of stress around these issues when I went to school. It takes up a lot of energy and causes a lot of negative self talk that I still, to this day have a hard time getting out of my brain.
My mother always says that I was into “that grunge style” way before it was actually stylish. I never went in for the 80’s-heavy makeup-super-stylish-clothing thing. I always wore plain, faded, sometimes ripped (but NOT store-bought ripped) jeans, with sweatshirts or chamois-shirts, or whatever. Oh, there were times when I dressed up all 80’s, but usually I was borrowing RegularSis’s clothes, which used to drive her crazy.
Nowadays, it’s still jeans and t-shirts or sweatshirts. I own a few nice things for those rare occasions when I need to dress up for something. My hair is straight, without bangs, and most often tied up in a ponytail to keep it out of my face.
My girls mimic me, and so far, they seem perfectly happy with it. My 4-year-old does like to wear skirts and dresses sometimes, but nothing super fancy, since we just don’t own anything like that.
We’ll see how it all pans out as they get older, I guess.
Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote about being embarrassed on her first day of school because her dress was shorter than the other girls. And then Nellie Oleson looked down on her because of her clothes. Nellie always had lots of dresses and hair ribbons and shoes. Laura was barefoot in warm weather, and had one school dress. That was in the 1870s. Later in the 1880s when they had moved to South Dakota, Nellie showed up there again. Laura wrote that she always felt at a disadvantage to her friend Mary Power whose father was a tailor so she always had nice clothes, although Mary never rubbed it in. But Nellie was tall and willowy and beautifully dressed, and looked down her nose at Laura. So this is most certainly nothing new.
In junior high I wanted to look like others, more or less, but didn’t obsess about it. I had enough that I wasn’t teased about my clothes, and I was never one to pick on someone else. I was always shocked and dismayed at the way some children were picked on, and at times I tried to stand up for them and tell the bullies to stop. But little good it did.
My friend’s 5 year old came home from kindergarten wanting certain brands. He didn’t really know the names, but the logos. And she is very anti-consumerism. Of course, we live in a fashion conscious area. Not that you could tell by looking at me :-).
My mom always let me dress the way I wanted, and I went through one fad clothing stage when I was about 10. I wanted to dress like the older girls from my ballet school, but not like the ones my own age. Then when I was a teen, I loved to wear my mom’s old clothing from when she was in college. Being homeschooled meant that I floated from one social setting to another, and I fit into each one in different ways. Each group dressed differently, and that gave me the choice about how I was going to dress.
That’s the crux of it, isn’t it? Having that choice regarding how we dress. I guess what’s sad is that kids today are inundated with choices, but peer pressure dictates what the RIGHT choice is supposed to be. And fashion designers take that and run with it.
“but peer pressure dictates what the RIGHT choice is supposed to be” You just said it! My mom always said I dressed like Punky Brewster. LOL! My little is going through that stage now and she had no idea how I dressed back then. She’s like me, she don’t care what others think. My mom on the other hand, believes in “Fine” clothes and proper dress. I’m like what ever! She told me here while back that I was finally in style because brown was in. It has took the world 39 years to catch up with me.
I’m with you, kitten! Brown’s in style this year? Well, there you have it. I’m suddenly stylish!
I have boys and they just don’t seem to care. My oldest is just not “HIP” with the culture. Give him a football hoodie and he is good. I have noticed the clothes seem to be getting smaller and smaller. And can someone please explain the writting on the rear end of little girls pants? Although it does seem that the mothers of said daughters enjoy prancing around with “juicy” on their bottoms as well. This is just another reason to home school.
Oh, yes. Junior High. The hell years. I went to an exclusive private school on Manhattan’s Upper East Side for junior high, in the early 80s. Two of the worst years of my life. You were NO ONE if you did not wear Benetton, Guess, and Fiorucci, along with a bunch of rhinestone bracelets and pastel penny loafers. I can’t believe Guess jeans were $50-some-odd back in the 80s. I can’t afford $50 jeans now! And all the little things– like one day I’d walk into school and everyone was wearing frosty pink lipstick, or white socks scrunched down, but somehow I’d missed the memo.