And then, oh the noise. Oh the noise, noise, noise, noise! That’s one thing he just couldn’t stand — the NOISE, NOISE NOISE, NOISE!- How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Yeah, I can relate.
I suffer from tinnitus, a medical condition in which I constantly hear background noise that isn’t really there. Most of the time, it’s a faint high-pitched hum that I can easily tune out and move normally through my day.
But sometimes.
Oh…sometimes…in addition to the hum, I also hear this horrible horrible HORRIBLE BOOMING sound. Like someone plugged a stethoscope into my ears and hooked it up to one of RegularDad’s amplifiers and I’m listening to my heartbeat amplified about three thousand times louder than it would normally be in a regular stethoscope. Or like I actually did go to the Dream Theater concert and decided it would be fun to sit right next to Portnoy’s bass drum and listen to the BOOM for hours and hours.
I’ve read a lot about tinnitus on the Internet and apparently, the BOOMING sound isn’t as common as other sounds, but it does occur. And let me tell you, friends, it’s a nightmare beyond all imagining. The good news is, the BOOMING sound doesn’t happen all the time. I’ll go months without it and practically forget all about it, and then suddenly, it’ll show up again. Usually when I’m over-tired. Like this week. It showed up again this week. Most of the day, I’m fine, but by mid-afternoon, the BOOMING starts, and I’m pretty much done in. Useless. Unable to think. Or talk. Or smile. And during dinner, the normal sounds of children chattering and clinking silverware on dishes becomes an exercise in torture.
Two nights ago, I broke down and cried because it was SO FUCKING LOUD and I couldn’t make it stop.
So this week it’s been morning and early afternoons free from booming. Then by dinner, the BOOMING kicks in and by tuck-in time I can barely hear anything and then I’m wandering around trying anything I can think of to distract my brain from the noise — oh the NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE! — anything: reading, knitting, TV, shopping, decaf lattes, dishes, soft music. Anything. Please God, anything. Sometimes crunching on chips seems to work, so I’ve been crunching on chips. And then I eventually go to bed, listening to the BOOMING, and wake up the next morning, and the BOOMING is still there, but much quieter. And by the time breakfast is over, the BOOMING is gone, but the absence of it is so strange that I’m focused on the high-pitched hum much more so than usual. And then we get started with school work, and I forget all about the noises until just before dinner when they start back up again.
I’m seeing a doctor next week for a check up, and I think this time I’ll actually remember to ask him about this. Although, from what I’ve read, there’s really no cure. You just have to watch your caffeine, your nicotine (no longer a problem, and wasn’t I pissed when just quitting the smokes didn’t make the tinnitus stop!), your stress levels, you diet, all that shit.
Anyway. The reason I’m telling you all this, is because writing posts is enormously difficult during the BOOMING evenings. Hence my lack of posts lately.
Right now, the BOOMING has stopped. It’s only 7:00 pm. But it’s gone. Of course, it started earlier than usual this afternoon, but then I got all involved making a craft, and by the time I was done, I realized the BOOMING had gone. So maybe that’s the cure. Doing crafts. Like I have time for that?
Well…enough whining from me. I really am okay. Just wanted to wave hello from the nightmarish land of EXCRUCIATINGLY LOUD BOOMING NOISES and tell you I’ll write more just as soon as it stops again.
I also wanted to say, that maybe the Grinch actually suffered from tinnitus. It would explain a great deal. Because I can attest to feeling rather Grinchy during the LOUD HOURS. Poor little Grinch.
HI Regular mum,
Boy can I relate, mine is a lovely high pitch ring all the time, with a really annoying alarm sound when I am triad
ahhh the joy of home schooling, gotta love it 
There is medication to help, but it has heaps of side effects, I decided that I was crazy enough with out adding any more side effects from medication.
Hang in there, enjoy the craft then all the mess that that come with it
Cheers
Natty, a hsing Mum down under
Thanks Natalie,
Yeah, I probably won’t do the meds. It’s just not my thing. Bummer on the alarm sound by the way. That sounds bad. Pardon my pun.
I’m almost afraid to say it, but no BOOMING sounds for 3 hours now. Could be, I’m over the hump.
Just wanted to send a big hug to you! I had no idea you suffered from this all this time… I hope the Dr. has some other suggestions that might help.
P.S.
Indeed, poor little Grinchy!
You poor darling! My mum has suffered thus for many years and also a good friend. Personally I have not felt this pain, however as a child I used to hear the Booming you describe and with a childs imagination I thought that there were many little men working inside me. God only knows what they were doing but it used to scare the crap out of me. I hope your pain passes soon.
Bless your heart! I’m so sorry you having to go through with this. I had never heard of this so I googled it and it seems that people with Menieres, has this problem also. I have Meniere’s and yes a loud ringing or buzzing at times. But booming? Gosh! I’m so sorry!
(((((((((hugs)))))))))) & chocolate (dark) for you!
Thanks everyone.
Right now, no booming. I am sitting here reveling in the simple joy of silence, and of listening to the hum of the fan inside the CPU and knowing that THAT NOISE ACTUALLY EXISTS.
It’s those little things that mean so much, ya know?
Karisma, I got the package yesterday afternoon. The girls love their necklaces. And maybe I’ll break out that cross stitch a bit earlier than I planned, to circumvent anymore BOOMING. I had a friend as a kid who thought there were little people inside her transistor radio that did all the talking. It seemed plausible at the time.
Kitten, so sorry to hear about the Meniere’s. And thanks for the dark chocolate. How did you know, it’s my favorite.
Shawna, thanks. I hope things are smoothing out over your way with the Big Adjustment. I’ll call you as soon as the BOOMING has gone away. Right now, I’m no good on the phone.
Well, I must go push my 4-year-old on the swing now. Then it’s time to get ready for science.
Im glad they like the necklaces, my girs have been having fun making jewelery lately
Hey Regular Mom. This is Tami, the one featured recently on AmiMental’s blog. I also deal with intense tinnitis and while I have no cures for you, please know you are not alone. Mine is an emergency broadcast signal and I simply cannot understand how my family can NOT hear it since it is so darn LOUD. Like you, I compared it to the Grinch and it’s little wonder the creature’s heart was too small if he had it all those years. I keep music on almost all the time to drown it out but there are times where I think I will go insane if I can’t get away from it for just a little while. Sadly, mine is 24/7 except for occasionally, if I stand right under the showerhead, I can’t hear it. The EXPENSIVE MRI told me I was “fine” so I have no idea where to go from here. Just wanted you to know you are in good, albeit noisy, company.
Hey Girl, I’ve got it too. Working around airfields didn’t help me and mine is the high-pitched ringing variety. No booming, though. Sorry you’re going through this.
Tami, Robinella, thanks. It’s good to know I’ve got company. Quiet hugs to you both.
We had a good nature study this morning, and the girls are having a friend over this afternoon.
No BOOMING so far, but we’ll see what happens later.
Between a dead modem and a shitty attitude, I haven’t been online much. I’m so sorry about the tinnitus, I’m learning it’s much more common than one would think.
{{hugs}}