The girls have friends over for the day. Right now, they’re having a snack of apple slices and cheese sticks. They’re discussing a couple of important topics: loose teeth and imaginary friends.
Each one of them has an imaginary friend. This pleases me to no end.
Their ages range between four and 10, yet they all get along well and play together well and treat each other kindly. The older kids are always making sure that my 4-year-old is included and when she messes something up, they laugh and explain the rules to her yet again.
When the oldest said let’s not talk about teeth anymore…it’s starting to make me feel weird, the other three simply said okay and moved on to another topic. Like it was all about making sure everyone felt good. And like making sure no one felt weird or left out is a simple, everyday normal thing. Because it is.
Simple. Normal. Every day.
This kindness also pleases me to no end. It’s the kind of thing I want to videotape and show to every idiot who ever said: but what about socialization?
Socialization? I want to say. Oh yes…you mean like this?
But chances are, they wouldn’t get it.
That is a wonderful snippet to enjoy!
Dang, my blog is in danger of becoming a place where I just say, “Go read Regular Mom right now.”
That is the most common denominator among homeschooled kids, isn’t it. They tend to be such kind people. And also, self confident. Somehow and almost as if those things are interrelated…. “I live among kind people and I am ok.”
Wow, go read Poppins today. She is talking about the same thing. I love blogging. I love blogging with you people.
I love blogging with you all too.
I’m not sure I’m comfortable with the comment above in regards to homeschooled kids… for example one of my cousins was homeschooled and has constantly pursued a life of crime and stupidity… My two oldest children are in public school and I hate to say it but they are so well adjusted and can be the same way as descirbed above in this blog… I think the important thing here is to remember that whether good or bad these are all just moments or rather fleeting moments in our childrens lives… that they one day too will be the one on the bully side in one instance or another and that we as parents must at all times know this… but I will however agree that these moments are the best… to see my youngest, 4yrs, today sharing and helping a younger child, 2yrs, with learning how to ride a trike was amazing… the amount of patience and understanding was astounding to me… and yet not an hour later she was completely frustrated by my stupidity with a certain matter.
Wish I was homeschooled!
-RegSis
Hi domestically challenged,
I appreciate your comments a great deal. And I do think you have a point. We have in fact known at least one homeschooled girl who’s behavior was erratic and troubled and violent. And we also know publicly schooled kids who are a joy.
The point I wanted to make here (and keep in mind that a large part of what I write is steeped in irony and sarcasm) was that so many people are worried that kids who homeschool won’t be properly socialized if they don’t go to regular school. Yet my kids seem to make friends and treat people kindly in spite of the fact that they don’t go to public or private school. School as an institution simply is not required for my kids to make friends and be nice and have fun with their peers.
And also, the chances of my kids being repeatedly and systematically bullied is far lesser than if I sent them to school where, sadly, that thing DOES happen far more often than in your average homeschool club. When inappropriate behavior happens in our club, 99.9% of the time, it is handled immediately by the parents and the kids. Thus, conflict resolution is something that homeschooled kids have a stronger hand on because they’ve got more one-on-one coaching for it.
Are my kids and their friends always so wonderful to each other? Nope. In fact, not long after I posted the above, I had to put my 4-year-old in a timeout for throwing a large plastic container at her sister and her friend. And later on, I had to help the kids navigate a toy-keep-away situation. Which is all normal and healthy and age appropriate. Again, I’d like to point out that these kids are behaving normally in spite of a lack of exposure to regular institutional education.
But it is also nice to see that they didn’t attack each other on a personal level. They had conflict; but they didn’t resort to bullying. No one left the group in tears, ostracized. No one ganged up another due to size, age, developmental achievement or gender.
I’m not saying that all homeschoolers are good children and all regular school kids are problem children.
I AM saying that I’m sick and tired of hearing foolish adults say: BUT WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?
Again, thanks for posting.
Peace.
I think it’s good that you taught them to share (: With the right values, they will be able to socialise with anyone. (:
I think homeschool does a better job creating well socialised children than institutional school. I think that is a plain simple, ironic, truth. And I think discussion about this makes the parents of children who are attending institutional school feel very defensive. I am sorry it hurts to hear about aspects of institutional school that do not work very well. But the more we can talk about these trends, and we are talking about trends, the better educated we all will be. The better prepared to help our individual children navigate the systems they are in, and the better able schools might be to address any possible problems within their system.
Rock on RegularMom, I think you are exactly right!