RegularDad: “You know what I could go for right now? A big ol’ bowl of Crunch Berries.”
Me: “Oh man…Crunch Berries…”
“Yep, just pour me a bowl o’ Berries, and let it rip the roof of my mouth all to shit, I don’t care.”
“Crunch Berries were my favorite. Funny…I don’t remember it ripping up my mouth as a kid, though.”
“Yeah, the Berries rocked. But the trick was to get the Berry-to-Crunch ratio right. You know? You had to eat a bit more Crunches than Berries at the start, so that when you got to the end, it was just a few spoonfuls of the Berries left.”
“No…I liked the Crunches. I liked having the last bite be maybe 3 Crunches and 1 Berry. It was perfect.”
“Hmmm…maybe you’re right. Remember when we bought that box of Just The Berries?”
“What? I never bought one of those!”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Just Berries was Just Wrong.”
“Oh, well, it must have been on a fishing trip up to Montana then.”
“You bought the Just Berries on a fishing trip?”
“Yeah. And you know, at first it was really great. The first 3 bites were just…you know…ALL BERRIES. It was awesome. But then a few bites later, I was like, hmmm….needs Crunches.”
“See, I told you.”
“Yeah, you were right. You need the Crunches. You need maybe a 70 to 30 ratio of Berries to Crunches.”
“You mean Crunches to Berries.”
“Yeah. I think. Anyway….I could really go for some Crunch Berries right about now.”
“All we have is Trix.”
“That’ll do.”
About once a year, I cave and buy Cookie Crisp. It was forbidden when I was a child; I guess I have issues. Last time, though, I was impatient, didn’t wait for proper milk penetration, and I *CUT* the top of my mouth. An actual wound. There was blood. Sad, sad.
Ah, of course…it’s all really a factor of saturation. I should have known.
I don’t buy the Crunch Berries anymore. But I am known to occasionally slip into a fugue state and buy some Trix.
Quisp! Remember that?
Oooh! Quisp! I LOVED that stuff. And you know what? I just saw it at the store a few weeks ago. Quisp is making a come-back.
Now I want to go buy some.