There’s a great discussion happening today over at the Denim Jumper that asks the simple question: how do we do it?
As in: how do we do it all. How do we parent the kids, homeschool the kids, keep the house clean, sleep enough, eat right, exercise, spend quality time with our spouses or significant others, maintain correspondence and relationships with other people, and still have time to read or watch a little TV in the evenings?
And the answer is, simply enough: we don’t.
Nobody does it all. Nobody. If you think you know somebody who’s doing it all, trust me. They’re not. You just think they are. They may realize that you think this way about them and they may try to keep up the illusion if it suits them. But all you have to do is stop by unannounced one Thursday afternoon, and you’ll see the truth.
If you think that you will be the one who conquers this inability to do it all, that you alone will break the Doing-It-All-Barrier, trust me. You won’t. You’ll try, and for about 4 hours or so one Tuesday morning, it’ll look like you’ve done it. But as soon as you think you’ve done it all, something will happen (and that something might easily involve a 4-year-old, the family pet, a frying pan, and your nice set of acrylic paints that you’ve been saving for when the kids are older) and it will all come crashing down around you.
And you’ll realize you can’t do it all, and you’ll join the rest of us who slog silently through days dripping with spilled applesauce, torn books, broken toys, and empty cheese stick wrappers. And it is my very sincere hope that you’ll just keep on homeschooling in spite of it all.
I homeschool. Therefore my house is messy. Don’t believe me? Here:
Here’s one little corner of our playroom. It looks like this most of the time. Sometimes on the weekends I find the energy to go up there with the girls and help them clean it all up. But sometimes I’d rather not, ya know?
The mess is up there right now. It’s just sitting there doing nothing. I could go clean it up. Or I could grab a book and read for an hour.
Hmmm. Tough choice, huh?
Thanks for the reminder! I constantly expect too much of myself – and am constantly disappointed in myself as a result. It sucks to go through life feeling like a failure. Much better to realize the “contest” was rigged to begin with.
Thanks for the picture! It looks like home! I have to show my dh to prove it’s not just us, LOL!
Thank you-thank you-thank you. It’s nice to know someone else is living in a house where not everything gets done perfectly. My mother would never have made it past 10am without getting all the beds made. Sometimes ours go un-made for days. I have to remind myself that I have a lot more going on, and I have to prioritize. In the end, what difference will it make whether or not the beds were made, or the toys picked up?
Love your blog!
Ooooh, I like that storage cube thingy. Where’d you get it? Because you know, I’m *thisclose* to doing it all and the right storage system could get me over the line…
*snort*
I really do like the cubey thing. But I know better. It won’t make me a supermom. It’s the *calendar* I need. Just as soon as I find the perfect planner/calendar. That’ll do it….
Thank you so much for posting that picture. I have long ago given up on keeping the toys picked up in my boy’s room or the living room (that is the play room) for any amount of time.
I am like you–if I have to choose between a book or knitting and picking up stuff that will be strewn about 5 minutes after I do it, I choose book.
Hey, you’re welcome everyone.
andie, I got that cubby thing at Target a couple years ago. It’s a very useful item. I also got 6 canvas drawers to go in it, and then I leave 3 cubbies open as shelves. It was a good purchase. Now, as as soon as you’ve gotten it *ALL* done, let me know, and I’ll plan a surprise inspection at your place someday.
As for everyone else’s comments, first of all, thanks for reading! I’m glad you’re here. As for the mess, I figure if I can get to it, fine. If not, too bad. I try to teach the kids little things at a time on cleaning up. Like put your dirty clothes in the hamper after your bath. I try to instill habits. Like brushing teeth.
We have so many toys right now (over-active extended relatives) that it’s just not fair to expect the kids to pick it all up. It gets too overwhelming. Especially for my 4-year-old. She dumps toys up in the playroom when I’m doing schoolwork with my 6-year-old. I’m not there to help her find an item or remind her to put things away after she dumps them out. I can’t fault her for it if I’m not there to help teach her.
At least, that’s my thought.
As for the rest of the house, well, I pick up toys when we start tripping over them. I grab laundry baskets and tell the girls to put it all in the baskets and take it up to the playroom. That way, it’s not spread all over the main floor and we can breathe. Then, when I’ve got the time and energy, we all go upstairs and tackle the playroom.
It’s what works for us.
What really sucks for me is that my house is for sale. So I have to try really really hard to DO IT ALL. I actually left the boys playroom looking like that one day thinking nobody will look at the house today and of course someone did.
I don’t care how my house sells, I just want it to sell and be done with. Then I can relax again. I don’t like doing it all.