I live with a 4-year-old.
So, you can well imagine that there’s not a whole lot of diversity happening in my day-to-day existence right now.
We eat the same foods at the same times every day. We read the same story books over and over again at bedtime. We listen (God help me) to the soundtrack of Spirit, Stallion of the Cimmarron every freekin’ day during rest time, and not the whole album, mind you. Just two of the songs, over and over and OVER again. (And a very special thanks goes out to RegularDad for finding that CD on eBay last year. My life just wasn’t complete until I had the chance to listen to Bryan Adams wail and moan all afternoon long.)
So, when someone said to me, hey there’s a carnival coming up and the topic is diversity, my mind went completely and utterly blank.
Diversity?… Huh?… Wha?… Didn’t we give that up for Lent?
I felt lost and old and uncomfortable, because I used to know all about diversity. I used to sit around college apartments drinking bad coffee and smoking cigarettes and holding forth on such topics with my oh-so-diverse set of friends. And now, I spend my days picking up the same toys, washing the same clothes and the same dishes, and answering the same questions over and over again.
And really, I’m okay with all of that. This is, after all, just one season of parenting. And because I homeschool, I’ll have the chance to educate my kids properly regarding such subjects as diversity when it becomes appropriate and necessary. I’ll be able to place them in this diverse world and teach them how to participate in it. In fact, I am doing this already. We habitually wander in to supermarkets, parks, libraries and museums where there are scores of people who are nothing like us whatsoever. GASP!!! And nothing bad seems to come of it. I didn’t even have to buy any curriculum. Sweet!
I’m hoping that if I keep doing this sort of thing, my kids won’t have to wait until they’re forced to attend some cheesy corporate-sponsored workshop in which people throw Nerf balls at each other while standing in circles to learn about diversity. I’m hoping, in fact, that they never have to attend such a cheesy corporate workshop at all. Because if there was ever a bigger waste of time in this world than the Corporate-Sponsored Diversity Training Workshop, I don’t know what that might be. I simply can’t recall ever emerging from one of those things and hearing some bigot say to his buddies, “Gee, that was such an eye-opener for me! I can’t believe what a racist jerk I’ve been all these years! I’m really going to start treating people differently!”
But, I digress.
I look forward to the days when I’ll be able to discuss with my daughters some of the deeper elements of diversity, such as Jesus of Nazareth’s ethnicity, and the real reasons we fought the Civil War, and the natural occurances of normal homosexual behavior in the animal kingdom, and the unarguable diversity of the universe itself and the spiritual significance thereof.
And because I’m not just a homeschooler, but I’m also a relatively new homeschooler, I naively imagined that all other homeschoolers felt this same way. (Ah, there’s the rub…imagining everyone feels the same way as I do.)
But, they don’t.
Just recently I listened to another homeschooler bemoan the fact that she just couldn’t find friends who shared the exact same values as she did. She found fault with just about everyone, it seems. Either their brand of religion wasn’t exactly the same as hers, or their kids watched too much TV compared to hers, or they ate too much sugar, or they didn’t homeschool the same way she did…it went on and on.
It was a bit discouraging to realize how many homeschoolers are out there that are doing this to keep their kids AWAY from diversity. Because, after all, diversity might be contagious. It might be fatal. Or if not fatal, it might actually lead to independent thinking, which might be worse.
But my discouragement was short lived because the truth is, the homeschooling community is an incredibly diverse population. If you look hard enough, you’ll find the the ones that don’t fit that stereotypical image you’ve got in your head right now when you think about us. There are quite a few homeschoolers out there who are just regular old non-religious-nuts (and who have never owned a denim jumper, ever) who simply decided that school sucks, and we’re not gonna do that to our kids if we don’t have to.
We’re around. And each day more of us are becoming more vocal, which is a good thing. It’s time to balance out the scales a bit, time to trash that stereotype, because it ain’t workin’ no more.
And if you’re thinking about homeschooling, and you’re worried that you can’t do it because you’ll never find any friends that are JUST LIKE YOU, then I’m here to tell you that you’re probably right. Chances are, you really won’t find people just like you.
Because you’re not supposed to.
Here Here! I agree with everything you have said. Nice to know Im Not the only one with these views. What a great post, I really enjoyed it. Thanks
Don’t let that one goofy woman discourage you. There are far more great, diverse homeschoolers out there than you might think. My kids are older (14, twins 13 and 7) and you have to work a little harder, but there are some great, “normal” homeschoolers floating around everywhere.
This is a thoughtful and excellent essay! Thank you for writing it. I enjoyed reading every word.
How the hell will we ever recover from the soundtrack for Spirit? I am here to tell you, those two songs slowly give way to the whole freaking CD. Sigh. Just yesterday at our dinner table I looked at my husband with tears in my eyes and pleaded, “Do you think we could maybe just get a new Brian Adams CD?” Maybe our daughter can “branch out”. But I am not going to hold my breath. Katherine
Thanks guys.
And Katherine, it means so much to me to know that we’re not the only people out there with that soundtrack.
I feel sure there is a touch of karma to all this. I made my family listen to “Knee Deep” was that the Gap Band, oh, maybe about 75 times a day for a month. Then I went through the Squeeze faze. There were other fazes. A whole loooooooooong time I was afflicted with Stevie Nicks. Ok, I admit it. White Winged Dove can still get me. Hey, Stop Draggin My Heart Around. Hummm. I better go find my lace shawl…..
Amen, Sister. Preach it.
Hmmm, well, let me lend some diversity to your comments by saying that sometimes I totally agree with that other homeschooler — I’d love to find someone like me.
We move a lot. We are always the outsiders, negotiating the social contract. It’s tiring and it’s lonely. God, it would be nice to just show up and FIT IN. It makes me wonder if diversity is more attractive to those in the majority — those who are always cast in the minority role perhaps aren’t quite so charmed by the notion.
Please note, I am not saying that I’m some sort of oppressed minority — I’m just a quirky, crunchy woman floundering in a conservative culture, who just had an urge to NOT keep my mouth shut for once.
Love the post. I’m always getting in trouble for thinking people think the same way I do as well. Not so much where I live, and I seem to make so much sense to me. He, he.
Here I am….
this is me……
its a new world, its a new way…..
GailV,
Your description of yourself sounds *exactly* like me. I also am a quirky, crunchy woman floundering in conservative culture. And we just moved this year. If you ever end up in PA, let me know. We could get together and you’d FIT RIGHT IN.
And I’m glad you spoke up. You should do that more often, because you make excellent points.
For those of you who are wondering who “WHAT??!!!” is, may I introduce you all to RegularDad. That was his comment-debut: some of the lyrics from the Spirit CD. I’m imagining he meant them to be heard in a heavy-metal riff of some sort.
Nice to know we’re not alone.
Sorry to hear about the Spirit cd,
ours is the Curious George soundtrack,
only we like it
I am a quirky crunchy conservative floundering in a liberal world.
I sometimes wonder about certain self-proclaimed “Christians” who only want to associate with one particular type of Christians. Don’t they actually *READ* the Bible? Jesus was a radical- associating with women, Gentiles, tax collectors, and sinners. He is constantly criticizing the Pharisees for being “holier than thou” and reminding His followers to love their enemies. Christians are supposed to be the “light unto the world” and not to “hide it under a basket”. How exactly does self-segregation accomplish this?
The ironic thing is that I often find I have more in common with devout Protestants, Eastern Orthodox, Mormons, and even Orthodox Jews and Muslims than I do with “progressive” Catholics. Things like being pro-Life, pro-traditional sexual morality, and so on. We may not agree on the path to salvation, but when it comes to moral issues we often see eye-to-eye.
I don’t have a problem with people not being like me. The problem I seem to have is that I’m not okay in other peoples’ eyes. I’m too agnostic for the atheists, too atheistic for the pagans, not radical enough for the unschoolers, too radical for the liberals, too young to be an elder and too old for the mommy bloggers. Talk about your square pegs. I’m completely off the pegboard. Good post and very nice blog.
Shine On,
Lill
Thanks for these great, thoughtful comments. It’s good to know that there are people out there who are sorta, kinda, if-you-squint-your-eyes-in-a dark-theater-maybe just like me.
Kate, there’s a curious George CD? I’ll have to look for it. Anything other than Spirit would be a nice change.
Kim, your self description is intriguing.
Crimson, I know exactly what you mean!
Lill, I’d like to add to your list: I’m too much of a meat-eating, sugar-in-my-coffee kind of person for the crunchy, vegan, grind-your-own-wheat-crowd. Also, I suck at recycling. Pegboard? What’s a pegboard?