For those of you who haven’t heard, we finally have a Miss America who’s got some…well…balls. Here’s the article. It’s what I saw first thing this morning, just as I was sipping that All Important First Cup of Coffee of the Day. Venus Ramey, former Miss America winner of 1944, shot out the tires of a car filled with thieves trying to leave her farm with some of her property. If I may quote:
She had to balance on her walker as she pulled out a snub-nosed .38-caliber handgun.
“I didn’t even think twice. I just went and did it,” she said. “If they’d even dared come close to me, they’d be 6 feet under by now.”
(emphasis is mine)
The mental image produced by these statements will haunt me for weeks to come.
I imagine that the NRA is scrambling today to schedule a meeting with Venus to discuss future commercial sponsorship deals. The marketing department is already considering new national slogans, such as: You can have my snub-nosed .38 only when you pry it from my cold, rusting, cubic-zirconium diamond tiara. (Hey, it could work. It could.)
On the other hand, future Miss America contestants all across the country are feverishly re-writing their Q&A responses, in light of today’s shattering news. Clearly, “If I win this thing, I intend to dedicate my life and career to ridding this country of the evil and dastardly Second Amendment to the Constitution that is causing all of our nation’s problems. That way, the only people who will actually have guns are the people that don’t follow the law,” just ain’t gonna fly anymore.
Finally, we have unconfirmed reports that Miss America pageant officials are considering modifications to the official song sung when the new winner takes her walk down the stage to something like:
“Here she comes…Miss America…. GUN!!!!!”
From someone who’s been on more than a few Take Back The Night marches, I’d just like to say:
Way to go, Venus! You ROCK!
This just makes my day, Go Ahead, Make My Day!
I know exactly how you feel. Apparently, Venus felt lucky.
I was able from your take on this to play the whole thing out in my head and in my version, Miss 1944, in her house dress like my Granny wears, was wearing her tiara. It was just precious! Thanks for the laugh.
Your welcome.