Like I Have Time For This?

Not only does my husband like my new blog, he really likes BEING in my new blog.

Here I was all worried that he’d be offended by the things I was writing, and it turns out that he’s actually really enjoying the whole thing. Every day — and I mean Every Single Day — he approaches me with some odd comments or alarming body movements or a combination of both or (God Help Me) more heavy metal songs with made-up-on-the-spot lyrics about brushing your teeth, and then after he’s done, he’ll say: “Can you put THAT in your blog?”

So, in an effort to MAKE IT STOP, I offer you this rare opportunity to eavesdrop on a typical conversation between me and my husband. On this occasion we were making the long drive back home from Grandpa’s house in a heavy spring rain storm. We were making our way through a construction area and saw a sign that said TRAFFIC FINES DOUBLED IN CONSTRUCTION AREA.

Husband: “Why don’t they make it triple? If they tripled it, people would really pay attention.”

Me, shrugging: “I guess so.”

Husband: “Or quadruple! If they quadrupled it, no one would speed through here! Ever!”

Warily, I glare sideways at him.

Husband: “Could you put THAT in your blog?”

I shake my head silently and watch the road.

Husband: “I don’t remember what comes after quad, but could you—”

Me: “Quint. Quint comes after quad. Like quintuplets.”

Husband: “Oh! Right! So if they—”

Me: “And after that comes sex. Like sextet.”

Husband: “Yeah, I knew THAT one, but there’s kids in the car…”

Me: “And after that, comes sept. Like Septuagint. And then comes oct, you know, like octagon? And then, after THAT comes non, like in nonagenarian, remember my friend Lois wrote all those poems about being a nonagenarian? And then after that—-”

Husband: “Yeah, okay…um…I don’t want to be in your blog anymore.”